Scripture as experience

I have recently found myself enjoying reading scripture. Well, maybe enjoying is the incorrect adjective, perhaps I have been challenged, changed, or moved. I have not been reading large amounts of scripture, rather I have found myself reading portions, here and there which are now intertwining themselves into my psyche. There seems to me an unnatural power in the word of God.

There are three different levels on which scripture speaks to me. The first is purely descriptive and factual. Thou shalt not murder holds a pretty apparent message and speaks to my mind and perhaps even to my conscience (I am not claiming to have murdered, it is purely hypothetical). Sometimes we view the Bible, and I must admit this is my least favorite way of viewing the scripture, as a textbook. This is what you should do to be a christian, a follower of Christ, a participant in the kingdom of Heaven. With a textbook there is no room for misrepresentation. What you say is what you get. I do believe there are portions of scripture that fall under this category, but they tend to be my least favorite. They also tend to be the least effective in producing growth in my spiritual life.

The second way scripture speaks to me is on a metaphorical / allegorical level. The Bible is the story of God, of His kingdom. It is a description of the christian journey, of humanity's relationship with God. The Bible speaks in metaphor and allegory to draw our attention to the truth and speak to our emotions and our heart. Facts generally don't speak to the heart and very seldom are an agent of change. A story, allegory or metaphor, on the other hand, contains a changing power. Merely stating that a person died in the current Iranian revolution is not as effective as a story about how they died and even still less effective than a video or images of the person dying. Through the story we are able to understand something or someone outside of ourselves. God's story found in the Bible moves my emotions and spurs me on to action, changes the way I think, and opens my mind to the possibility that maybe I am not the central character in my own story, that there is something much bigger of which I am a part.

There is one more way scripture speaks to me. Over the past several weeks as I have been reading scripture, I feel (dangerous word, I know) as though I have been experiencing the word of God. Let me clarify. It's not that I have been reading about the fruits of the Spirit and then someone was kind to me, rather that as I sit in my chair, staring at the words etched in ink, and as my mind processes the symbols then puts together their meaning there is a change or movement that occurs in my soul. At the moment I am not even sure what is changing or moving, all I know is that my soul has been affected. I know of nothing else that has this affect on my soul, in fact most of the time I am highly unaware of my soul. Perhaps it would be akin to experiencing the death of a person in the unrest over the Iranian election rather than merely reading it as a fact or reading / viewing it as a story. There is much I don't understand, all I know is the word of God is alive and active. We cannot view the word of God as a textbook, or even a mere story. The word of God is a dynamic, living, and active entity ( I don't like using the word "entity," but am at a loss for a better one) which affects us on a level that most of the time we are unaware exists.

If , as we have been discussing in our church community, the christian life is more than salvation, but a transformation into active participants in the kingdom of heaven, then the word of God as a dynamic and interactive presence in our lives constitutes a means of changing the old to the new. I am fairly certain that I would find it hard to change my soul, that is change the essence of my being, but, here we go with this word again, I feel that God' s word has a chance, and a fairly good one at that.

Transitions II

I'm stuck on transitions. Deep down inside I wish for things to stay the same. I have been very slowly reading the self-help classic "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck. Besides being a work of psychological art, it also offers insight into humanity and worldview. Recently I came across a passage that detailed the relationship between change, suffering, and mental illness, for which Scott gives a very general and I find very inclusive definition. He describes the ability of emotionally and psychologically healthy people to grow out of their world view, generally through suffering and depression, into a new and more appropriate world view that enables them to interact well with their community. Those who are unable to realize this change, to go through suffering, are those who suffer, at some level, from mental illness, and will never realize their potential as emotionally and psychologically healthy people. Sometimes I hate the truth.

I find myself very bothered by this description of health, probably because it eludes me. Change comes very slowly for me. I want things to remain static. My best technique for remaining unchanged is isolation. I very easily bury myself in my studies, hide behind walls of silence, and quench signs of emotional health with my fear rejection. I find it very easy, like I am sure most people do, to remain the same. To have the same fears as I had five years ago, to think the same way as I did in college, to interact relationally as though I were still single and not a husband or a father. While it is harmful to prescribe "appropriate" behavior, there are standards which we need to meet as we walk through life if we want to be healthy. If I am to successfully be relational at my job, my church, with my wife and with my children there has to be movement into and then out of world views.

So here I am. What do I desire more: health or familiarity? Or in my case what do I fear more: being unhealthy or having to change? The thing about staying the same is that you get left behind by friends, co-workers, family, spouse and eventually children. It is as unfair to them as it is to you. Put that way I can't give myself a choice, I refuse to let my family outgrow me and leave me behind. I want to be with them more than on a merely physical plane. So, here's to change, may God grant us courage.