Bernarda Alba and inhibitions

I find my life ruled by my inhibitions. There is a strong case for inhibitions, in fact they allow society to function efficiently, giving order to an otherwise chaotic world. They go hand in hand with the "que diran" so strongly described in the work of Garcia Lorca. The main character of his play "La casa de Bernarda Alba" is governed by a fear of what her neighbors might think. She rules her household with an iron fist, squelching any hint of independence or indecency from her daughters. Bernarda's inhibitions create a highly oppressive environment where her daughters burn for any show of genuine uninhibited self-expression. The plot hinges on the daughters uncontrollable thirst for freedom and self-determination with a complete disregard for the opinion of society.
Sometimes I remind myself of Bernarda. I try to control how others perceive me, hiding who I really am and revealing a fake self. Just like Bernarda's household I find parts of myself seeking freedom and self-determination. When I am unhappy it is usually because I feel my "self" or created "self" threatened, yet my moments of happiness are found in moments where I overcome my inhibitions. In the play the only character who has a moment of happiness, albeit fleeting, is Adela. She wears green when the others wear black and courageously defies Bernarda. There is something to be said for the courage a person has to self-express. They tend to be the most magnetic. There is a certain attraction to a person who is able to express themselves freely, with few inhibitions.
So I sit here and wonder. How do my inhibitions affect my life? Why do I insist on wearing black when there is a whole array of colors to choose from? Identity and self-determination are very easily lost for me in my futile, although persistent, attempt to control the impression I have on others. It's a shame society, at all levels, is oppressive and still more a shame that I struggle to find the courage to push back.